Making Friends in College: Building Community and Confidence
Why Friendships Matter for Student Success
Feeling connected is critical to thriving at college. Sense‑of‑belonging research shows that students who feel valued and part of their campus are more likely to meet academic expectations, withstand stress and graduate. Conversely, isolation undermines motivation, and lonely students struggle to engage fully in their coursework (more on that on our blog). The good news is that making friends is a skill, and like any executive‑function skill, it can be learned through practice.
Friends provide emotional support, reduce stress and encourage collaborative learning. A systematic review published by the NIH (which you can read here) concludes that friendships can improve grade‑point average by sharing notes, explaining difficult concepts and motivating each other to attend class. A strong sense of belonging boosts confidence and engagement. Clearly, building community isn’t optional. Rather, it’s a foundation for academic and personal growth, but it doesn’t come easily for everyone.
Concrete Ways to Build Friendships
Use your residence hall to your advantage. Keeping your dorm room door open, greeting neighbors and chatting with people on your floor invites connection (see 11 Smart Ways to Make Friends in College). Encourage your student to attend hall meetings and introduce themselves to roommates and resident advisors.
Attend orientation and welcome events. Orientation activities are designed to connect freshmen and help them adjust to campus, so skipping them means missing easy opportunities to meet peers. Club fairs, ice‑breakers and residence‑hall meetings offer low‑pressure ways to spark conversations.
Start small and try low‑pressure events. For students who feel anxious, begin with manageable social steps like sitting next to someone in class, inviting them for coffee or attending smaller events like fitness classes. These interactions can lead to deeper connections over time.
Take social risks and set small goals. It’s normal to feel awkward, but it’s socially acceptable to knock on a neighbor’s door and introduce yourself, or to swap phone numbers with a classmate, which can lead to study sessions and coffee dates. Set goals like introducing yourself to three people during the first week. Keep in mind that each of those people will likely also be very happy to make a new friend!
Join clubs, intramurals, volunteer or look for campus jobs. Student organizations, intramural sports, theater groups and service projects provide structured opportunities to interact regularly with peers. Taking a campus job or work‑study position can also expand your network and teach professional skills. Putting yourself in situations where you regularly interact with the same people will naturally lead to deeper connections.
Form study groups. Introduce yourself before or after class and propose a study group. Collaborative projects build communication and trust. See our article Mastering Group Projects - Executive Function Strategies for Collaborative Success for ideas of how to get started, and why group work is critical for developing interpersonal and organizational skills. Even informal library sessions help students bond over shared academic goals.
Leverage digital connections and shared interests. Students with ADHD sometimes lose track of time or forget to check in. Understood.org notes that adults with ADHD need to be proactive about relationships. Using shared interests and social‑media platforms helps build connections with like‑minded peers, and being open about ADHD builds trust. Encourage your student to join online groups for incoming freshmen or clubs and send the first message.
Practice conversation and listening skills. Start with simple ice‑breakers: compliment someone’s T‑shirt or ask about a shared class. Make eye contact, ask open‑ended questions and listen actively. Recognize that building social confidence is like building any skill, so regular practice leads to improvement.
Build Social Routines with Time Management
Making friends is easier when social time is planned alongside academics. College Success Plan executive‑function coaches work with students to turn these strategies into action. They help students practice introductions, set social goals and schedule regular activities in addition to staying on top of academic demands. Sessions may include role‑play, goal‑setting and reflection. Coaching serves as a bridge between anxiety and action, providing accountability and tools that build confidence and community.
If your student is worried about making friends or balancing social life with academics, we can help. Schedule a free consultation with one of our experts. Our coaches teach executive‑function, time management and organizational skills that help students build friendships, manage anxiety and thrive in college.
